emmetts adventures
by eternal stawberry
Summary: emmett meets dave the druken leprocone. hwo long can he hide?
1. emmett and dave

**I don't own twilight!! **

**So im feeling really random right now so brase yourselves!**

One day at the cullens house Edward was in his rroom lissioning to music.

Then emmett came in.

"EDWARD HELP!! DRUNKEN LEPROCONES NAMED DAVE ARE OUT TO GET ME!!"

"how do you know?"

" JACK THE SHOE TOLD ME SO!!"

"what happens if dave gets you?"

" HE EATS YOU!"

"where is he?"" …he's everywere and no were at the same time…"

"…right"

" why is he after you?""because I called him shorty"

"tsk tsk, well then you deserve to get eaten. Nobody likes a bully."

" Edward please help me! I need a place to hide!"

" how can you hide from something that's everywere and no were at the same time"

" you can hide in alices closet I mean really have you seen the size of that thing? Its bigger then all of down stairs!"

"okay you go hide ill stand guard."

"okay"

Edward follewd emmett to alices room and waited till emmett was inside untill he left.

(5 months later bella is now a vampire)

Alice walked into the back of her closet to find a old pair of heels for bella to were and she screamed

"EMMETT WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY CLOSET!!"

"hideing for a drunken leprocone named dave."" how long have you been in here?"

" five months"

" emmett I have a secret to tell you."

"ooo what is it"

" im the drunken leproconbe named dave were a alice mask."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"what "

"emmett you are so gullible! Im not really dave , im alice!"

"REALLY?"

"no"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"JUST KIDDING!"

"your so mean to me alice."

"I know." then she found the pair of shopes she was looking for. "well anyways I have to get, I found the thing I was looking for"

"okay bye"

"bye"

(three years later)

Emmett was still hidding In alices closet.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"who are you?""who are you""I asked you first"

"im emmett."

"im briget and what are you doing in my closet."

" this isn't your closet. This is alices closet."

"not anymore." she and the rest of her family moved today!"

"oh"

"why are you in her closet anyways."

"I was hidden from a drunken leprocone named dave."

"how long have you been here?""three years""how did you surive im I vampire. So I don't need to eat I do need to feed thow. So I sujest you leave or else I might slip and you need up being my lunch."

"rightZ"

"its ture I can proof it!"

"how?" then he lefted her up with is pinky finger."

"oh kool "

THE END AND EMMETT LIVED THE REST OF ETENITY IN THE CLOSET."

**So wasn't that interseting? I warend you it was gonna be random. Today I got new shoes.**


	2. emmetts new haircut

**I don't oen twilight**

**Im feeling really random**

Alice was shopping on the internet when emmett walked into her room.

"hey alice can you do me a favor?"

" dose it involve shopping?"

"err…yes"

"okay what is it"

"can you give me a rainbow colerd mohalk?"

"how do that involve shoping?""you need to buy the dry"

"ture" so then alice when to walmart and bouth the die."

"emmett are you sure you want this?"

"yep it will grow back anyways."

"right." and then she started to die his hair."

Alice was finally finished and showed emmett the merror. "so. Do you like it?"

"yep. Im gonna go show the pack and see what they think."

Emmett was walking down the road in la push with a hoodie on to cover his hair and then he was surrounded by wolves." I come in peace." emmett said.

They transformed back with there clothes on.

"then what are you doing here leech?" said Jacob.

"I wanted to show you this." and then he took his hood down and they all gasped."

"you idiot, I hope you relize it wont grow back!" sam said.

"it wont?"

"no"

"well then theres only one thing to do. Ill have to kill myself" and then a gun magically poofed into his hand and he shot himself. "why wont I die?"

"because you're a vampire. Do you want use to kill you?"

" no way! Do I look like a dude who wants himself killed today?" emmett said still holdig to gun to his head.

" well… yeah"

" oh …okay." and then the pack transformed again and they killed emmett.

THE END.

**Please review. I love reviews. They make me happy. Unless you say mean things****L**


	3. emmett vs freddy

**I don't own twilight.**

One day bella came over to the cullens house with her new pet

"emmett this is freddy."

"cool whyd you name him freddy?"

"after freddy kouger"

" oh. Is he nice?"

"um… to me."

"can I hold him?"

"sure."

" bella his giving me the death glare, Edward can you read his mind?"

"yep hes really smart."

"whats he thinking."

" his about to bit your finger of."

"id like to see him try!" then freddy bit his finger off "AHHH! IM FINGERLESS!!"

(three days later.)

Umm. Emmett have you seen freddy anwere?" bella asked

" no why would you ever asked that?"

"because I havent seen him in three days." just then freddy walked in. only he didn't have yelloe eyes anymore he had red ones and he looked more dangerous then ever and and even more cuter.

"EMMETT. WHAT. DID .YOU. DO. TO. HIM!!" bella shouted

' well I may have turned him into a vampire cat…"

" you will live to regret that."

"sure sure"

"just you wait till I become a vampire."

"right"

'and freddy will get you to."

" sure he will" then freddy fell from the sky and riped emmetts face off.

THE END

**freddy is my cat. Hes 12 years old and hes visous and I tried to pick him up a second ago and he bit me! Please review.**


	4. emo jasper

**I don't own twilight. Tina better be reading this**

**EMPOV**

MUHAHAHAHA! I really hope jasper dosnt find out that im In his closet. See I wanted to see if jasper wore boxers or breifs**(a/n don't ask. ) he wares boxers which is manlier but they all have pitchers of pony barney duckys teletubbys dora ect. On them which isn't manly. Nw inm gonna black mail him about them. MUHAHAHAHA! **

**So I go into the back of his small little closet to find a trip door on the floor. I go down and run and vampyric speed for a few days. By the way how is jasper gone for a few days and we not notic? Anyhow there one of those old fashony wooden doors that are all curved at the top and stuff. So I got it and…..**

**Wow. **

**Its emo tastic in where. Battle makes my arse jazzy poo poo kins is a cutter.**

**So Ieverything is all black and stuff and theres posters of emo bands and stuff and jazzy has a nother closet wit a bunch of emo black clothes and stuff. **

**I wonder if alice knows about this. Hmmm…..**

**So then I got an idea. It was a birrlian idea and wonderful idea.**

**I got paint that poofed out of thin air and pained every thing with unicorns and stuff like that and replased it wit pink stuff and took down all his posters and put miley cyrus up.**

**Im in my room just watching tv when I hear.**

"**EMMETT, YOU BETTER GET HERE RIGHT NOW OR ELSE ILL STUFF YO IN A BELNDER AND BLEND YOU TO DEATH!" someones on a bad mood.**

"**I WONT DIE"**

"**OH YES YOU WILL"**

"**NO. I WONT."**

"**YES YOU WILL. I HAVE MY WAYS."**

"**WHAT EVER"**

**So I walked into jaspers room and said" heyy jazzy poo poo kins whats the matter?"**

"**werev you in my closet?"**

"**I didn't even know you had a closet."**

"**sure" then he picked up a blender and stuffed me in it and I died.**

**The end**


End file.
